THE START OF THE INTERNET
Welcome to the very first page of the Internet.
We hope you enjoy your visit. But before you click onto the second page on the Internet, please take a moment to read the Standard Disclaimer
Anti Social Behaviour - due to the lack of human contact. Beer Belly Syndrome - due to the constant sitting down and excessive consumption of beverages. Squinty Eye Syndrome - due to being too close to your VDU. Speech Depravation - due to the constant typing and lack of talking.
This is not an exhaustive list. Other symptoms may include MKSI (mouse/keyboard strain injury), Bladderitis Athenema, Hunchback syndrome (due to the hunching effect of surfing) and many more...
By continuing beyond this page you are in acceptance of this disclaimer. If you don't agree, then simply turn of your monitor, unplug your keyboard, and go back to your socially active lifestyle...but why would you want to do that?
Reports have surfaced that many visitors haven't abided by their Internet User Manual. They have had the audacity to visit other pages before they came through this first page. If you are one of them, then in accordance with Internet Directive 41, you must:
Delete all Emails you have ever received. Clean out all Bookmarks you currently have. Unsubscribe from all mailing lists you are a member of. Take the Blue pill that is attached to the back of your Internet User Manual (Page 823). This may cause initial dizziness but you will then have forgotten everything you have previously seen on the Internet. You will then have to start again from the beginning.
Yes, we understand this is a pain, but Internet Rules are there to be followed, not carelessly broken. We thank you for your total co-operation.
Chief Internet Management Officer.